Welcome

As a man, I am encultured to value power over connection. But I have found that placing my focus and energy on increasing my power leads to my being miserable whenever I perceive that my power has been damaged or diminished. It disconnects me from others and leads me to make judgments about others based on my assessment of how much power they have relative to me. It stimulates me to rage whenever my power is challenged or questioned, and to crushing shame whenever I judge that I have lost a "power competition." These phenomena have created a great deal of pain in my life.

In October 2002, I went through a men's training experience in which, among other things, I articulated a mission statement. In it I talked about healing myself and others, and building strong community. Over the years, this mission has evolved and become more concise, so that now I say that I work toward healing relationships -- creating healing connection in the world. I do that by bringing together: first by bringing myself into relationship with others, starting with my own family, and then by bringing others into relationship with each other; and by cutting apart: I am too attached to my wounds and my toxic thoughts, addictive behavior, brokenness and isolation. In other words, healing occurs both through synthesis (bringing together) and analysis (cutting apart) -- and that both are a form of connection between human beings.

I have dedicated myself to being in connection with other energy beings rather than accumulating power at the expense of the world. I am convinced that only by this means will I heal my own "power wounds" and sense of brokenness, and bring gifts of healing to others.

Now comes the big disclaimer: This is a statement of intent, NOT of completion or success. I fully expect never to be able to declare victory or completion in this work. I have only come to the articulation of this mission after fifty years here in Earth School. It will take at least another fifty to understand it, and work to apply it, awkwardly, imperfectly, full of fear and despite mistakes, failures, setbacks. I am out of integrity every day of my life. I will continue.